After the kissA metiator storie
by whitegirloutcast
Summary: ITS BACK! LoL I deleted the storie and now its back, so maybe some of u have read this before. Suze feels guilty for keeping Paul a secret for so long, but does Jesse have a little someone he has been keeping from Suze too?
1. Chapter 1

It's suppose to be right after haunted. like during the kiss the end. o ya tell me if i should write more too. or what u thought of it. First storie so sorrie if its bad

Jesse gently moved his lips off mine and I slowly opened my eyes, and saw his eyes, gazing into mine. It was magical, I could just imagine the little fireworks going off in my head. I wanted that moment to last forever.

"Susannah" he said in a low whisper. "I have to tell you something." He said grabbing my hands to hold them in his. It made me shiver throughout my whole body. To feel the warmth of his hands around mine.

"Yes Paul?" I suddenly said without thinking. Oh My God I just said yes Paul, to the man I love that is about to confess his love to me. I saw his face go from love struck to confused, and his eyebrows went up. I knew he wasn't expecting to hear that when he was about to express his love to me. I wasn't even expecting that. How could I do that!?! How could I be so stupid!?! Then he let go of my hands. Once he did that, I knew it was over. Somehow I did.

"What?" he said loudly before I had a chance to say no not Paul, you, because I love you! "Paul!?!" he said while raising his hands in the air and turning around, and then back again to say something else to me. He sounded full of anger. I couldn't blame him though. I did call him Paul, the man he hated most, right when he was about to confess his love to me. Or at least I thought he was. "You know what I wanted to say to you _Suze_. I love you. You hear that I LOVE you! I would do anything for you! You can have your precious Paul now! All I ever did was try to protect you because I LOVE, yes LOVE you! And what do YOU do?!?! You go and sleep with the guy that tried to kill you behind my back. Your just a waist of my time and your holding me back so get the hell away!" I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even blink. I don't think he could either. He wasn't even able to finish everything he wanted to say because he was out of breath.

"Jesse..." I said with my eyes watering up. Then I took a step closer and he moved back. He looked terrified at me. Like I was some kind of monster. My heart felt like it was being stabbed a million times. This wasn't suppose to happen. I don't even love Paul.

"Claris?" he said in a calmer way all of the sudden while his pupils grew larger. Claris?!? who is that!?! Then I turned around and saw a beautiful young women, maybe around the same age as Jesse, With a bright pink aura around her. A ghost, I thought. Her hair was the most beautiful golden curly hair. She was dressed in a big gown, holding an umbrella and was just standing there. Like she just appeared out of nowhere.

"Jesse..." She said. She sounded speechless, actually they both did. I would really like to know what was going on here! I was just in the middle of a very important event with Jesse and now all of the sudden this Claris girl comes along. Though it was nice to not be yelled at for a minute.

"Qué hace usted aquí? " he said in Spanish. I had no clue what he was saying. Ugh why didn't I take Spanish when I had the chance to.

"No need to speak Spanish with me Jesse. You know why I'm here" She said. I was supposing they had a big history together. It was like I wasn't even there. The way they were looking at each other. "I was taking a trip back to Europe and the boat sank. I died Jesse. You were suppose to be there by my side. But I see your here to take somebody else's heart too"

"Yo no lo adoro ya" he said defensively. I heard adoro. Oh My Gosh. He said it. I didn't know Spanish, but any girl could tell adoro meant love. He must love her.

"No Spanish Jesse, I'm tired of it." She said to him. Apparently to her I still wasn't there.

"She can see you!" He hissed.

"You left me Jesse" she said while ignoring the remark he just said.

"I was murdered!" He yelled "Yo nunca lo dejé" There it is again! Adoro! He must be telling her he loves her. I was right. It had to be that. I think. Why else would he say it in Spanish? So I wouldn't know that he loves her. But it hurt me. I can't take this anymore, I wish I could just leave, leave and go far away. But I'm not going back you know... there. Not after what happen after the party. I will just have to face the music.

"You never loved me Jesse?" She said while sounding unsurprised. Never loved her?!? What is he saying to her? Did he just say he didn't love her? "You said you never loved me." She added and then I quickly turned my head back to Jesse to see what his reaction was, what he would say. I know his eyes caught mine because he looked at me and instead of replying to her, he was talking to me. I could tell, seeing his dark eyes staring at mine.

"I was in love twice, and now I know I will never love again" He said . He sounded hurt, angry, confused. Just like I was. My heart sank. He thought I didn't love him. He really thought I didn't love him. But I did. I loved him more than anything. He was in love twice? Wait a minute TWICE!?!


	2. Chapter 2

##

Ok this one is a little shorter than the last one, but still okay ;) please review when your done. I would really like it ;) O yeah thankx Lily for explaining some things that happened before haunted. It really helped me out.

"IN LOVE TWICE!?!" I felt like shouting out. But I kept myself from saying anything. I sure knew well about Maria, believe me I did, but nothing about Claris. I was completely lost. I had no clue what was going on. Who was Claris? Then there was a silence after he said "I was in love twice, and now I know I will never love again". He just stared at me and I stared at him. Why didn't Jesse even bother to introduce Clair and I to each other? Why didn't he just explain what was going on in this silence between us...o yeah and Claris too. So I just stood there, looking at him and I realized that Jesse has been keeping a secret form me the whole entire time I knew him. And I felt guilty about not telling him about Paul! What about Claris huh? Did that just happen to slip your mind Jesse!?! But then again, I just realized how Jesse felt about Paul and I. Because seeing Jesse and Claris there together made me think, maybe they should go together, they are both dead aren't they? I bet he thought the same thing about Paul, and I. Paul and Suze are both alive, so why don't they go together? But those thoughts must have been completely wrong. Because there is no worse couple than Paul and I. I knew that as a fact. But then again why did I say yes Paul when I was suppose to say yes Jesse? Did this mean something? No it couldn't. Just a goof. Simply just a goof. That I was defiantly paying for now. If I would have said yes Jesse, he would have said I loved you and we would have kissed again. And maybe this Claris person wouldn't have recognized Jesse and left. Man I'm dumb! But then again, I don't know who Claris is, she could be a friend or a relative he loved. She doesn't have to be a past lover. Does she? Jesse please tell me before I faint from all the many thoughts crossing my mind at once. I could always like I said before, just leave to go to the shadowland, but I can't. Must keep myself from thinking about it. Then I thought of Paul in the hospital, I don't know why but that place just crossed my mind and I closed my eyes. When I opened them I was at the hospital landing to the floor on my butt. How did I do that!?! Where was Jesse and Claris!?! Oh boy I just shifted my body from one place to another. Maybe what Paul said was true. But I can't think about Paul. If I don't go to the graveyard now, Jesse could leave with Claris and I may never see him again.

"Sssuuzzzee??" Paul said while yawning. I must have woken him up from sleeping when I hit the ground. Then I saw a smile on his face. Oh no, he thinks that I actually care about him now, that I came to actually visit him. No it's not true. Maybe if I think of the graveyard, like I did with the hospital, I can shift myself back. I tried, I swore I tried but it didn't work. "Doesn't always work" Paul said. I guess he could tell what I was trying to do. I got off the ground and tidied up my shirt, and said to Paul

"I need to go. How can you help me to go...go...to the graveyard?" I asked. I couldn't believe I was asking him for his help but I couldn't walk or run there, it was all the way by school which was like a good 20 minute run away. I'm sure he knew I wanted to go there becasue of Jesse. i mean why else would I go to thr graveyard?

"No way I can help ya Suze. Your stuck with me" He said with a smile. I couldn't tell if he just wouldn't tell me there was a way to get back, or if there really wasn't a way he could help me to get back.

"It's really important Paul," I whined to him. I know I was acting like a child, but if it would get me what I wanted, I didn't care.

"Nothing I can do Suze." He said while shrugging his shoulder. Then it was the first time I noticed how he looked. He had a broken nose, a little cast thing around his left wrist, and bruises all over his neck and left arm. Probably from all the strangling and hitting. I suddenly felt bad. I mean he did get hurt like this, for me, Susannah Simon. He still looked, I hate to say, hot, even if he was injured. I had to say something. Anything to make him tell me if there really, and I mean really was a way to get back by shifting.

"Look Paul" I said frustratingly. "If you really loved me, if you really did, you would tell me how." I said with two tears going down my face. I just had to see Jesse. I had to. But then again Paul had no clue what was going on. And I wasn't going to tell him either.

"Well why did you think about coming here?" He said "if you really need to be where you need to be" he said, and it was true. He got me there. I didn't know what to say. DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HE DOES THAT! I felt like strangling him just then. I hated Paul, I hated him so much. I don't care if he is incredibly hot and sometimes even irresistible, I just need to see Jesse. I need to. I don't care so much that Jesse leaves, well I do, but if he does, I want him to know that I love him. That I never did sleep with Paul, that I only cared about him. Him and him only him. I didn't answer Paul though, instead I started crying. I screwed everything up. All I ever did was screw things up. Maybe it would be better if I didn't even exist. Then Jesse could have Claris, and Paul could move on from me and maybe go with Kelly. I'm sure it doesn't really matter who the girl was with him. I was just a crush, I knew it. I mean he didn't say it, but I'm sure it was. But then again, why would he fight Jesse, a dead guy for me, when he knew he couldn't win. There was no way to kill Jesse, only for Paul to die. Ego, I repeated to myself in my head, all his stupid ego. Paul never loved me, Jesse doesn't love me anymore, and I'm alone. "Suze..." I herd Paul say and then I looked up at him and he was getting out of his bed. He came and put his arms around me and I pushed him away. Not again! Why do I keep on crying over Jesse right in front of him. When will I learn? "Its alright Suze. I really do wish I could help" He said while coming back to me and giving me a kiss on my cheek. I felt like slapping him, but he didn't go any further. The kiss actually did help me a bit, believe it or not. It made me feel a little loved.

"P-p-paaull" I said while trying to keep the tears in, but couldn't. Then he took his right hand and brushed it threw my hair, and put his left arm around me, even though there was a cast on it. Then he did something I didn't expect him to do, he started rocking back and forth. Just a tiny bit. Then he started humming a bit. It actually helped. It made me feel calmer. Instead of just talking and making me feel worse like he did last time, he was being a decent human being, and trying to help me. So I thought I could give him a second chance. Not with love but something else. My trust with him. I was desperate, and I couldn't spend anymore time with him. As much as I liked being comforted by him and having myself in his arms, which was totally wrong, I had to see Jesse. I was tired with lust and Paul. I just wanted to be with the right person, Jesse. But then again, was he the right person? I mean maybe Claris was the one for him. And not me. But then again, I don't know who Claris is. Note to self, quit assuming Claris is a past lover.

"You have a car right?" I asked in a calm way, and he smiled. Not a smile with his teeth, the ones that made my heart melt, but just a little one. I knew he knew what I wanted to do. And I really think that smile was a yes.


	3. Chapter 3

#

##

#"So you can drive me to the graveyard!?!" I asked making sure he could, but still totally excited. I couldn't believe he was being so nice. Maybe when Jesse hit him in the head it got some sense into him. I just couldn't contain my happiness and I threw my arms around him and gave him a big hug. "So how we gonna get there?" I asked, suddenly realizing that he probably didn't have a car in the hospital parking lot.

"Shift, drive, something like that" He said casually. What did he mean? I thought he said there was no way he could make me shift anywhere. To go from one place to another.

"Wait but-"

"I said I couldn't help YOU get the graveyard. But we can go together." He said with a smile. I had no choice but to say yes. As much as I hated it, I had to say yes. So he held my hand and I closed my eyes shut. I wonder if any of the nurses would notice he was gone. I hope Paul doesn't do anything to Jesse. I really hope he can keep his promise. That he would never touch him or do anything to him again. Then when I opened my eyes I saw myself right in front of, guess where, Paul's house. Oh My Gosh Paul! What the hell are we doing here!?! I'm not falling for this again!

"Paul!" I yelled out. I really had to go see Jesse. There was no time for games.

"What? You wanted a ride," he said while opening the door to his car. "If I'm going to bring you to Jesse, I might as well spend some time with you on the way" He said with a smile.

"Who said it was for Jesse?" I said frustratingly, even though I knew we both knew I was going to the graveyard for him. "Paul! I can't go with you!" I yelled refusing to go in the car with him.

"Alright, I guess I'll be going then, you know, to the graveyard alone to see your boyfriend" He teased me. Oh what nerve. So I stubbornly went inside the car, and he went in the driver's seat. It was a good 10 minutes away so I just sat in there pouting. Still acting like a little child. He stayed quiet, but I just couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Jesse isn't my boyfriend" I said, still acting like a stubborn little brat. "He doesn't love me" I said, changing my tone while looking out the window. Wondering if Jesse had already left with Claris. I wish I knew who she was. I wish Jesse knew that I still loved him. That I loved him ever since the first time I saw him.

"Oh stop it Suze" Paul said impatiently "Hes totally gaga over you"

"Not anymore" I said while still being quiet. I know Jesse loved me. But that was loved. He doesn't love me anymore. I just want him to know that I love him. That's all. Its important to me. But if that's all I want, why do I feel so depressed right now. Ever since I got into the car, I stopped feel anxious to see him, I just felt depressed. I think Paul was getting a little annoyed at how negative I was being. "How come your being so nice?" I asked Paul. because it was true. Paul would usually never bring me to Jesse, or go out of his way to. Or try to make me feel better when I cried. Yes, instead of bringing me straight to the graveyard, he took me all the way to his car, but the rest was so unlike him.

"I love you Suze" he said while looking away from the wheel and at me. He looked so honest when he said it. And hurt. Don't know why he looked hurt, but he did. Then he looked back at the wheel. That was a really stupid time to confess your love to somebody. While your driving. Oh great how romantic Paul, you can send me flowers when my feet hurt, but you tell me you love me while driving in a car to a graveyard.

"Right, and I'm the queen of England" I said sarcastically. Then Paul pulled over and stopped the car, and looked at me. His bright blue eyes were staring into mine and he said romantically

"I want you to kiss me, as if you were kissing Jesse" I don't know why but I didn't immediately think EW! Get away from me you psycho! I actually sat there and though, should I? I don't know why. It was gross and sick and wrong, especially because I didn't love Paul, I loved Jesse. But then again, I really just wanted to kiss Paul right then and there. At least he loved me, unlike some people. He didn't lean forward like I wanted him to though. He wanted me to kiss him. I started to lean forward, and slowly closing my eyes, but decided to stop there. It was a public place and anybody could see us, even though it was a pretty quiet street and there was nobody around.

"Paul..." I said while slowly leaning back, opening my eyes, and sitting straight again. "I can't do this, just take me to P-Jesse" I said while correcting my mistake. Or well the mistake of calling Jesse Paul again. I hope he didn't notice my error. What was up with me today anyway? Am I going crazy? Will I be a nut in a old people's home at the age of 16? I don't think I had to say anymore because he started driving again.

"You know Suze, I'm not the bad guy you think I am. Guys pretend to act macho, but on the inside, there just scared of rejection." He said meaningfully. Was what he said true? Does this mean this whole time he was trying to act "macho" and trying to impress me? Or not so much impress but not show a weak side in front of me. Did I make him feel scared? Was he scared I would reject him? Well I wouldn't blame him, acting "macho" was the only way of protecting himself from getting hurt by every single time I rejected him. Actually, almost every time I saw him I rejected him, I just did a few seconds ago.

"Paul, I just love Jesse, okay" I said nervously, trying not to think about how Paul felt about me anymore. It was making me a little scared to learn some of the reasons he actually acted the way, well he acted. It was always such a mystery for me. All I did was say he was "he's evil and mean," but now I was finding out some answers and it was getting harder for me to say "hes evil and mean". Or just that at least. I had so much confusion going on already, and I didn't need to add anymore Paul stuff to it.

"Are you sure hes the only one you love?" He asked, or really more said to me while looking off the wheel because we hit a red light. He stared into my eyes. It almost made me feel dizzy looking into those bright blue eyes. They almost seemed as if they were full of love, for me, but then I quickly realized this must be another tick. Suze, don't be stupid, don't fall for it.

"BS" I said 'You don't love me, if you did you would leave Jesse and me alone." I said while the red light turned green again. He didn't start driving though. There were no cars anywhere in sight and he stayed there and looked at me.

"Well what am I doing now?" he said. Well that's easy, driving me to see Jesse in the graveyard so I can tell him I love him. Whoa, he really was doing what I told him to do.

"Why are you taking me though?" I asked and before I gave him a chance to answer, I remembered Jesse and Claris at the graveyard together, and how they might leave, without me being able to say goodbye to Jesse. So I said "Hurry it up Paul, start driving, I don't have all day." and then he looked at the road, as if he totally forgot that he was even in the car driving me somewhere. He didn't answer my question though, he just started driving and it was quiet for the rest of the four-minute drive. The whole time I was just staring at him. He didn't look over at me once in those four minutes. Just looking at the road. When we arrived at the graveyard, I stepped out of the car and said hesitantly,

"Well thanks...Paul." He didn't say you're welcome though, or do that little smile he does. He just stared at me with he mouth slightly opened and said

"You're beautiful," It made me feel good about myself, for about two seconds. I had other things to think about. Like Jesse for example. Plus saying that was probably just another Paul Slater trick. Even though I had no clue what his plan was yet. So I ditched the car quickly not answering to Paul, seeing old ghosts talking to each other on the way. They probably had no clue I could hear their conversations, yet alone see them, and touch them. And when I was about maybe 30 feet away from Jesse's grave I saw him. I had a big smile on my face. But then I frowned as I saw him sitting next to his grave talking to Claris, who was right besides him. They must of been talking for a long time. Probably forgot all about me. Then I stood there for about a minute, frozen not being able to move. Should I really interrupt them? I mean they did look really happy together. And like I said before, they were both dead. But then again, I didn't know who Claris was, so I stood there looking at them talk for another five minutes. They still had no clue I was standing 30 feet away from them looking at them, pondering to myself. And then I felt two arms come around me. I looked at the hands and saw that little cast thingy on one of the wrists. Paul. It was Paul.

"Paul..." I whispered while still staring at Jesse and Claris.

"So whose that young lady" he whispered back while putting his head on my shoulder.

"Claris" I replied, still keeping a low whisper. I don't know why I didn't push Paul off me, but it just didn't cross my mind. I was still to busy looking at Jesse and Claris. How they were interacting to each other. Wondering what in the world they were talking about.

"She seems to like him" Paul said, still keeping it in a whisper. Oh great, the last thing I wanted to hear was that. Well the last thing I wanted to hear was that Jesse looks like he likes her too, but I didn't end up hearing that.

"I bet, but Paul, I'm already hurt enough, can you just let me go and say goodbye to Jesse" I said.

"Don't you think it would be to hard to do that, don't you think you should just let it be. I mean common Suze, just look at them" Paul said. He had a point, but I know he just didn't want me to see Jesse at all, even if it was the right thing. Plus she might not be his love. She might not be his love at all. Paul brought me here to get on my good side, but I wasn't going to stop now. So I moved forward and Paul moved back and I walked up to Jesse and Claris.

"Oh, its you" Jesse said sarcastically.

"Jesse, I love you" I said while standing in front of him. I felt like a total idiot saying it. I really did.

"Well you got your boyfriend waiting for you back there" Jesse said while looking behind me at Paul.

"I don't love Paul." I said "I love you" I said again and then looked at Claris real quickly. She seemed totally unamused. I bet she was just thinking. Oh poor little alive girl, can't even get a guy that's alive, so shes gotta go for the dead guys that don't even like her. "I love you Jesse. I really do" I said while leaning down to his level, and then putting my two hands on both sides of his head, while beginning to kiss him. He didn't push me back or anything like I thought he would. And Paul didn't fly out of nowhere stopping us, and Claris didn't interrupt or anything. It was actually going pretty well. I pulled my head back and brought my hands down and stared into his eyes. Then I leaned forward and kissed him again, since he wasn't saying anything. Once again, I moved my head back and said "Jesse I love you" I must of said it several times already, but I had to get it sunken into his head. SUSAN SIMON LOVES JESSE.

"I love you too" He said with a tear running down his cheek. I actually made Jesse cry. I couldn't believe it. It was so corny, but I started crying too, but out of happiness.

"I have so much to tell you" I said to him.

"Well well well, so it ends happily ever after now does it?" Paul said while standing right behind me looking down at us. How does he do that? I looked over at Jesse and saw him mad. He was like a overprotective mother cat looking after her baby kittens. Furious if anybody even came close to touching distance of them.

"How's your nose?" Jesse said with a little smile all of the sudden. Probably happy that it was broken, and because of him too. He knew he won the fight, and the girl.

"Just here to return this," he said and then bent down and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I suddenly just blushed then, but I looked down avoiding Jesse so he couldn't tell, even though I would love to see his reaction. Probably just as much as he wanted to see mine to the kiss. But I found myself looking up after two seconds.

But see Paul was trying to Jesse mad. He knew this was his last chance to, so he took me here, and got a little time with me out of it too. Hes evil. Completely evil! and I fell for his trick again!

"Don't you ever touch her again" Jesse said getting a little angry and pointing out his finger to him. The way a parent does when they are telling a young child not to do something. But Paul, being the big head he was, ignored what he said and walked over next to me, in front of Claris

"And who may this be?" he said while bending down in front of Claris and kissing her hand. Paul knew kissing me, and showing interest in Claris would probably make Jesse go crazy. Once again, Paul wasn't human, just back to his old self. He was evil and mean. And I screwed up again. Letting this happen.


	4. Chapter 4

#

I could tell a few of you didn't think I was writing well.lol. I don't think so either so sorrie. I made some errors on chapter 3. Like when Suze was saying "Paul isn't my boyfriend" I meant Jesse. I guess I forgot to fix it. And I wrote this "But see Paul was trying to Jesse mad." I think I just forgot to add the word get. Sorrie for my errors. I wish I was really good editing but I guess I'm not. sorrie. lol. o ya and thanks Manda for tellin me about them ;) I wish I could edit chapter 3 but I can't go back and fix it.

"My name is Claris, and who may you be?" Claris said to Paul.

"Paul, and might I say, its a pleasure to meet you" Paul said while doing my favorite smile of his. Ok, did the car ride happen or not!?! Because it sure doesn't seem like it now. I have to admit though, Paul is very convincing when it comes to acting like a gentleman. "I see you and Jesse are already introduced" he continued with a wink for me at the end. I can't believe he used me this whole time to get to make Jesse go crazy. I can understand why Jesse was crazy earlier though. After all we've been through, after all the feelings he's kept inside, he was probably just mad because he was hurt, and it was annoying for him to have to wait around for me. But Paul, Paul might think he loves me, but he's just plain evil! An incredibly evil hot blonde dude, but still evil. Focus on main word evil.

"Yes, but things have changed." She said while bringing her hand in away from Paul's as he stood up. "He hurt me" she added. I looked over at Jesse and he looked a little disturbed.

"I would never do anything to hurt a beautiful young lady as yourself." Paul told her while looking into her eyes. Never hurt a young lady? HELLO!?! Paul I'm a young lady. You've gone out of your way to make my life worse! Don't give me this I will never hurt a young lady crap! Jesse and I, I swore we couldn't keep our eyes off them as she stood up to stand beside him. I think we were both in complete shock at what was going on. Did Paul like Claris, or was he trying to get back at Jesse?

"I know you mean well Paul. Jesse is a fool and is blind. He wouldn't even know love if it came up and bit him on the behind" She said to Paul, even though it was obvious Jesse was suppose to hear it too. Then she started walking off with Paul while holding his hand. What was that!?! Claris and Paul ditching Jesse and me? Then I looked over at Jesse and he looked hurt. 100% sure he was.

"Dammit why did you bring Paul here?" He quietly said to me as soon as he saw them two sitting by a tree talking to each other.

"You love her don't you" I said to Jesse. There was a long silence. I knew it, he loved her. "Jesse, if you love her, please tell me"

"Is it possible... possible to be in love with two people at once?" Jesse said while looking over at Claris and Paul talking.

"Yes Jesse, it is" I said, because I loved Jesse, but also liked Paul. It was horrible, Jesse and I, we were in love with each other, but still liked other people too.

"I don't love her anymore, but I still feel protective of her" He said to me while looking away from Paul and Claris, and at me. Okay so he didn't love her. I was the horrible one. I was about to answer him but he continued talking. "I never wanted to marry Maria because I met Claris. I thought she was the love of my life. We were young and in love. I was suppose to travel to New York and take a ship to England with her. But I was murdered. I think she was just upset about it and blamed the pain she had from it on me. So she continued the trip without me. Leaving was her way of healing. But I suppose her ship sank, and caused her early death. And now she came back to see me and still expects me to have the same feelings I had for her 150 years ago." Now it made sense, she was upset because she still loved him, and he didn't love her.

"So... is Paul annoying you by talking to Claris?" I asked curiously. I was dying to know if Paul's plan worked.

"To no end," he said while staring at them "the site of him makes me mad" he said while biting his tongue afterward. I don't get why he was doing that, maybe it was his way of keeping in anger, because he seemed like he was trying to hold it in. But he was still seemed totally calm thought. Maybe it wasn't. Who knows, its just going to be another thing to add to the list of things I don't know, and will never know. "Susannah, I'm sorry...about earlier" He said and then looked into my eyes "Love makes you do stupid things." he added with a smile at the end, and all of the sudden, the world felt perfect again. He still loved me! No wonder I've been stupid lately, love makes you do stupid things. LOVE MAKES YOU DO STUPID THINGS!!! Jesse and I have been doing stupid things because we were in love. But then again, were my actions out of love, or were they just stupid? Who cares, all that matter is that I love Jesse and he loves me and that the world is right. Or well if you take out the Paul and Claris thing it is. I smiled back and we both stood up. "So Paul?" Jesse asked. Why did Jesse have to ruin the moment?

"Paul, not a problem. I never did sleep with him you know," I said while wrapping my arms around him. He still looked a little disturbed thought. "What's wrong Jesse?"

"C-C-Claris" He said while looking at the two of them talking. So I looked back too and saw Paul looking at me, doing his little wink thing. What does that little wink mean? Was Jesse suppose to notice it too? Then I turned my head over and saw Jesse and he looked furious.

"First he touches you, now he's with Claris. Susannah I can't take this anymore!" Jesse said while moving away from me and walking towards them. I had to do something to stop him, so I grabbed Jesse's arms and said

"No-No! Jesse he's just trying to get you mad"

"I could leave this world happy if I knew this man was dead." he said while still trying to walk over there. Leave this world!?! I'm not ready to have Jesse leave this world! No Jesse please don't do this to me. I can't have the ambulance come over to get Paul again.

"Look Jesse, if you loved me, you wouldn't do this" I said to him. Wow I was saying something like this to two different guys in one night. But this time, I was saying it to the man I loved. As much as I would love to not worry about Paul anymore, I couldn't have Jesse kill him. Of course Jesse stopped walking. He herd what I said and listened too. Then he turned around to look at me, he wasn't at the point of yelling at me though, but you could tell he was really trying hard not to.

"I can't take this anymore! its making me go mad" He said while grabbing hold of my two arms. It didn't hurt me though, and I knew how he felt. The man he hated most had two of his girls. Well not at once though. And maybe not _his _girls. But the two girls he cared about.

"Jesse calm down." I said to him calmly. Maybe that would help out a bit. Maybe.

"Do you care about Paul?" Jesse asked, and then I looked into his eyes, and there was a silence, a silence that really scared me. "I said do you care about Paul" he said while raising his voice a little. Not yelling, but just a little louder.

"Of course not" I lied. Yes I did like Paul, but it was purely lust. Of course I couldn't tell Jesse that. Then he would think I wasn't attracted to him-and I was! I was attracted to Jesse. I even liked the little scar he had above his eye, and I loved the way his hair was, and the way his hands felt on my body and well I could go on. I could go on forever.

"Are you telling me the truth? Are you sure there's nothing you want to say to me. At all?" he said, while making it really hard to lie to him, but I had to. I just had to lie to him, as much as I didn't want to.

"I'm telling you the truth Jesse. I don't like Paul" I told him. Then out of nowhere I felt two hands on my shoulders, and they certainly weren't Jesse's.

"Are you sure about that Suze?" I herd Paul say and then I felt him kissing my neck. I was totally frightened. I kept my eyes on Jesse and he looked angrier then he's ever been. Please Jesse Please Please Pleeaassee don't do anything to Paul. Even though I would love to have him dead now.

"I will kill you!" Jesse said while disappearing. Then I herd Paul go whoa! While letting go of me. So I turned around and saw Jesse choking him. Then Claris appeared next to me watching. What was up with all this shifting and moving around!?! Why won't it stop!?! Why can't Jesse control himself today? I know he was hurt, but still, why did he have to be so mad from it? Love makes you do stupid things, yeah, but does it make you want to kill somebody?

"It must be nice to have men fighting for you." Claris said to me. Nice? NICE! Hah! That was classic. But instead of paying attention to her, I screamed at the top of my lungs...

"STTTOOPPP!!!!" and then Jesse looked at me, still with his hands around Paul's throat. "Jesse how could you!" I said and then turned around and started walking away. I didn't know where I was going, but if neither of them can control themselves, I don't want to be around them. Then I herd Jesse's voice, but I couldn't make out what he said. So I started walking faster, to get away from them, trying to keep the tears in. Love hurts, love really does, and its so complicated too. Maybe I should become a nun. I don't think I want to deal with the dead ever again either. No more guys or dead people for me. Then Paul appeared in front of me and I bumped into him. Out of nowhere his body just appeared. I couldn't stop in time because of the speed I had. How come Paul is so good at this shifting thing? Then Paul put his arms around me. Then Jesse and Claris appeared right behind him. Why was this happening? Why won't anybody leave me alone!?!


	5. Chapter 5

#

#"STOP!" I yelled out to all of them, and then pushed Paul away and moved away also. I couldn't take this anymore. I just wanted to die, "Stop or I sware I will kill myslef!" I yelled hopping that it might freak them out a little bit. Jesse's eyes grew huge and he came and put his arms around me,

"Querida," He said while holding me tight. I probably scared him to death.

"Jesse, she needs a real man," Paul started to say, "I told you several times before, and I will tell you again, she needs a real man. Somebody who can take her places, do things with her, you know, somebody her family could actual see." He said with a little laugh at the end. I couldn't believe Jesse didn't attack him or something , but I did look at his face and he was biting his tongue. He was trying to hold his anger in, he cared about me, and tried to not hurt him. I felt like going "Jesse, go get him!" You know so he could just kill Paul, but I couldn't, as much as I wanted to. I couldn't have Jesse leave forever, and I couldn't have Paul dead, which is what they both wanted. So I did something, something I never EVER thought I would be doing. I whispered I love you into Jesse's ears so nobody could hear and then I backed away from him slowly. Then I walked up to Paul, put my arms around him, and kissed him. Yes that's right, I kissed him. If I gave Paul what he wanted, he wouldn't do anything to Jesse, because there would be no reason to, and if I gave Paul what he wanted, he would get bored and leave me alone, eventually. See, Paul wasn't the only one with plans. I could also be with Jesse the same time I was with Paul, just secretly. I wish I could of explained it to Jesse. I really do. Because I bet his heart was broken right now. I don't bet, I know. Seeing me go from his arms to Paul's was probably the worst thing I could of possibly done to Jesse. Lets just hope he doesn't leave before I could explain. Once the kiss stopped Paul said, "I knew you loved me." Loved you? HA! rigghhtttt. That's the last thing that was on my mind, me loving Paul? HA! There was something about his kiss though, that made my heart beat faster, but that didn't mean I liked it. I hated every second of it, knowing on how Jesse would react to it. Then I said to Paul,

"May I have my goodbyes with Jesse?" Paul smiled, so I was guessing it was a yes. I mean this was Paul's dream, for me to be with him, and wanting to never see Jesse again, to say my GOODBYES to him. But then again that's what he thought. I was going to do much more than say goodbye. So I walked back to Jesse to tell him something, just so he won't leave forever. So I could at least explain later.

"Meet me at my house. I'll tell ya what's going on later." I whispered into his ear quickly. He nodded his head, but still had a very confused and puzzled look on his face. Then I gave him a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye and he said goodbye. I'm sure he had no clue what was going on. Then I looked at Claris and said goodbye. She actually looked very pleased with herself and walked over to Jesse. She was probably thinking, oh thank goodness that little girl is gone, now I can have my Jesse all to myself. Then as I got back to Paul, he held my hand, and I closed my eyes. Lets just hope Jesse goes to my room and doesn't leave with Claris. Lets just hope he doesn't leave me. Please please please Jesse, don't leave with Claris. I was scared he would leave with her because I know how I felt when I got rejected, I would go to somebody else that liked me, to feel loved. When I opened my eyes, I noticed we were at Paul's house, again. We shifted there. Half of me wanted his incredible kisses, and half of me told me to control myself. To not do ANYTHING physical with him. I was just going to tell Paul I was tired and leave, but I didn't find myself doing that. Something was keeping me in that room. I hated him, I hated him because he was evil, and still had the best looks of any man on this planet. I wanted to kill him for that.

"So what changed your mind?" Paul said while sitting on his bed. I wasn't going to fall for this, so I remaind standing.

"Paul I love you" I lied to him. "Leave Jesse alone, he will be alone forever, we don't need to bother him." I said, just to make sure he wouldn't go and try to make him leave forever.

"You kidding?" Paul said to me. And then my heart dropped. What did he mean by your kidding? Did that mean he wasn't going to leave him alone?


	6. Chapter 6

#"You kidding?" Paul said to me. And then my heart dropped. What did he mean by your kidding? Did that mean he wasn't going to leave Jesse alone?

"W-what do you mean?" I said while trying my best to not care, but it was a little hard not to.

"Well if you don't care about him," He said while getting off the bed and then standing behind me with his head on my shoulder and his hands around mine in front, "we could kill him together." He added and then I couldn't believe it. I just told Paul I loved him in front of Jesse, so he wouldn't get rid of him, and now it wasn't working. My plan didn't work at all, because now Paul was expecting me to get rid of Jesse with him. WITH HIM! Paul wants me and him to go gets rid of Jesse! TOGETHER! I can't believe this! No way am I going to go make Jesse leave forever!"Well he does look cute with Claris, maybe we should let them be. I mean common Paul, imagine being dead forever in this world, it must be hell." I said because it was the only thing I could think of, even though I would hate nothing more than for Jesse to spend forever with Claris. I didn't really understand Claris. I could tell she always had things her way. Probably a little rich girl, or at least she must be from the clothes she had, and the fact that she was traveling from California to England. She probably had such a fit at the graveyard when she found out Jesse didn't love her anymore. I mean I'm guessing he told her since she went off with Paul, but then again, why did she go off with Paul? I mean Paul went with her to tick Jesse off, but why Claris go off with him? Maybe she was trying to tick Jesse off too. Well I know them spending forever together wasn't going to happen. If it even did, I would tell myself it wouldn't. Hopefully if Jesse did what I told him to do, he would meet me in my room. I just couldn't live anymore if I never saw Jesse again. It would be impossible for me. I think I would kill myself.

"How about we sleep over it." Paul told me and then kissed me on the cheek. I didn't care about the kiss, I was just thankful I didn't have to do anymore talking, or moving around, or planning, or trying to figure stuff out. I could sleep on it and figure out what to do in the morning. "We have school tomorrow." He added and then went by his drawer and took his shirt off and began folding it. I know it was wrong, but I couldn't help but stare. He had the best body known to man. Biceps, 6 pac, the whole package, and it were perfect because it wasn't to much muscle, but just enough. I know this is even worse, because I am totally in love with Jesse, but Paul was really sexy right now and I wanted to kiss him so bad. Just to push him onto the bed and kiss him. Feel his great body. OKAY BAD IMAGE! There is no worse time than now to have sex fantasies with Paul. Or well almost sex fantasies. I don't know if it was or not, it could of gone further, if I wanted it to- which I totally didn't want. I'm not going to let my hormones get in the way of Jesse and I. Once he put his shirt in the drawer he looked at me. I'm guessing his shirt wasn't that dirty, Paul was never dirty, plus I saw him wearing something else at the hospital, so I guess that shirt wasn't really that bad. But then again, when did he change? I'm confused. "Are you okay Suze?" He asked looking very concerned. Why did he look concerned? I really wished I could believe he cared, but every time I did, I got hurt.

"Just tired." I told him while yawing, because it was true, I was totally overwhelmed and tired. It must have been like 11:00 or something. I bet my family was worried about me.

"We could call your house and tell everyone your staying the night at CeeCee's. You know so you can stay here- I mean you can stay in the guestroom if you want. I'll take you to school tomorrow." He told me. I wanted to shout "No way am I spending the night here!" but I didn't. The idea was tempting, and I couldn't get mad at him for saying it. I mean he thought I loved him, and he did say guestroom. But there was Jesse, I had to see Jesse. Plus wouldn't the hospital try to look for him?

"No, I think I need to be alone a little bit, I love you honey but I just need some time...it was a big night for me." I told him. I must admit though, I have no clue where the honey part came from, I guess that's what somebody would say to Paul if they were in love with him. You know call him honey, imagine honey all over his body-EW! Where did that image come from!?! EW EW EW!!! No honey all over Paul's body. NO NO NO! Now honey over Jesse's body is another idea, but then again, I've never even seen Jesse with his shirt off. Never say never though.

"Okay" He said and then came over and kissed me on the lips. I closed my eyes and tried to shift home. When I opened them, I was in my room. IT WORKED! It really worked this time. See I was really meant to be here and see Jesse. Then I looked over by the window where Jesse usually hung out and he was there. Things were becoming perfect for me. Jesse was here, in my room. He still believed loved him.

"About time you got here" I heard a feminine voice from behind me say. I turned my head around and Claris was there. He brought Claris with him! How could he!?! I could tell she hated me when she said that. Of course she did, I was stopping her from getting what she wanted, which was Jesse. Then I quickly turned my head back and looked at Jesse.

"Claris!" he said while looking at her madly from saying what she said. "What happen with Paul?" He asked while suddenly giving me all his attention. I took a deep breath began to explain,

"Well I thought maybe I could tell Paul I loved him-which I don't! Just so he won't try to get rid of you anymore, so you wouldn't be a threat to him. And it worked!" I said totally leaving out the part that he still might try to get rid of Jesse. Paul said he would think about it. Maybe I was more powerful than I thought and changed Paul's mind. "Your the one I love Jesse. I did that for you. I'll just have to pretend with Paul, for a little while, but it will all be worth it in the end, because I get to be with you, and only you." I said and then saw a big smile on Jesse's face. He was so full of joy hearing those words. Your the one I love Jesse. Then I remember how I brought Paul to the graveyard, he was probably thinking about that too. So I told him I shifted to the hospital because I though I was going to have a heart attack from what was going on, but then I realized I wanted to go back because of you, and Paul was walking by and saw me, and since I couldn't shift back, he helped me get back by giving me a drive. Okay so it wasn't 100% true, but there was no way of explaing why I shifted to the hospital in the first place, I didn't even know why, so how could I tell Jesse why? He seemed to believe it and looked a little scared. I guess the heart attack thing creped him out a little bit because he came up and held me in his arms.

"Querida" He said while sounding scared to death. I didn't want to make him scared, but I couldn't change what I said before.

"Its okay Jesse, I'm okay" I said trying to help him feel better.

"No it isn't okay," Jesse said while looking into my eyes. "Its not okay" He told me. My heart was broken. I thought he was going to say his last goodbye right then and there but instead he said, "Lets sleep on it" and then he disappeared. I turned around and Claris was gone too. So I was left there alone. Paul thought I loved him, and wanted me to get rid of Jesse, and Jesse knew I loved him, but felt bad for the lie I told him and wanted to leave. All this lying wasn't getting me any ware. Just making my problems worse. And who knows if Jesse will ever come back. Maybe he just decided to leave me forever and stay with another dead person, one who doesn't think she will have heart attacks. Or well lie that she might of had one to protect him from the truth. Oh please don't let that be. I went to tell my parents I was home, and they thought was home this whole time in my room, so I made them believe that. Another lie. Then I went into my bed, still fully dressed, and surprisingly, fell asleep. I had so much to think about, but I fell asleep.


End file.
